Getting back on track at 18

so basically i found out that everything creeps up on you when you least expect it. today i went to check out the air force and i was basically discouraged because of my medical background. basically i have a huge past(which i will explain more in the future). anyway i think that it's wrong of them and i will prove them wrong in the next two years. basically everything is a huge red flag for them. its so wrong b/c you go into the military ok and then they fuck you up anyway. i don't get it. they're suppose to make you army strong and shit, but then they break you. you're suppose to rise from the ashes and shit, but what the fuck? what if you wanna go in there to change your life and become "all you can be?" where does that part come in? i think they just put that part in there for show and thats all. problems make the best of everyone to tell you the truth and i know this from personal experience.

basically what im trying to say is that mental health effects everyone and for the military to push it aside and discourage those effected sucks and that there could in fact sent them over the edge; pure rejection? you would think that the government would provide you with care and sincerity, but instead they categorize you and turn you away.

these days there is nothing wrong with being messed up...it's perfectly normal these days, as far as i'm concerned. to get personal...i'm bipolar and i have no problem with it. since my diagnosis i have coped with it and i have been off of my meds for 3 week, and i'm going strong. it's just a matter of will power, faith, and keeping yourself occupied. don't get discouraged...i'm not saying that there won't be days where you feel like you're in hell, but it's all how you handle it.

i'm not saying my methods work for everyone, but you have to be willing and put all you can into life cause it won't wait for you. that's why i'm getting my act together. i'm in school. i already have 6 credits and i'm going for childhood development. i have a goal and i will stick to it. having a gaol, even if it doesn't last for a long time, always helps. just keep an idea in mind, and run with it. if you change your mind, you can't say that you didn't try. so from here on out i promise to not listen to people's negative comments and and their discouraging words. it's a waste of time and possibly emotion.

it's a good thing i didn't sign my name in blood to the air force today. i think i want to find out more about myself first before i sell my soul to the unforgiving government.

until next time,

i'm...

Megan J.